Impeachment

All you wanted was a peach. A real peach. Not the canned variety. Not the "aromatic essence of stone-fruit", but real peaches with real fuzz and real stones. Don't just sit there quietly and take it. Don't let them concoct a peachy pretense for you and then give you a lot of attitude when you question its authenticity. Don't just swallow the stuff they hand out without giving them some lip about it! I tell you this place used to be great. The food wasn't fancy but at least it was relatively honest. Not these tortuous, trumped-up, indigestible confections. Not this holier-than-thou crap.

But that was before the new ownership. These guys have zero respect for either what or who they serve. They cater to a crowd for whom a dinner is a "destination" and a meal is a "moral imperative". They underpay the staff so the service sucks and then try to hit you up on the sly for a "mandatory gratuity". They don't care. They know you're gonna swallow whatever swill they dish-out with a fancy title.

So go ahead. Demand something real for a change. Don't be afraid to make a scene. Speak up! You can tell a peach from a press release can't you? Don't let them feed you this garbage anymore!

(Foodism Magazine 2002)